Song to say Goodbye
by 17Aaron13
Summary: Ya know, now I understand 'dat 'ya were right. 'Ya were always right. There nothin' to smile for.


_**Disclaimer**__: I don't own the Boondocks character, unfortunately. For me. For them is a sign of Lord's great and holy mercy..._

_The happiness is all around me, and joining happily depression and headache they do a new fantastic story. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!_

_Don't hate me. Love me. _

_**Summary:**_ "Nothing to smile for."

**Category - The Boondocks**

**Rated: T**

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You are one of God's mistakes  
You crying, tragic waste of skin  
I'm well aware of how it aches  
__And you still won't let me in_

I run on these fuckin' stairs with 'dis horrible thought in my head, and I don't know why.  
I was tryin' to understand why ma chief hates me so much and 'da second after I was runnin' to ya' flat 'coz I feel 'dat somethin' bad was happenin'. I_'m fired only for a fuckin' feelin'_.  
I don't know what I'm doin', I don't know what I expect you're doin', but I… I feel 'dat you're in danger. I hope 'dat 'ya will not laugh for 'dis though...  
I forget... 'ya never laugh. 'Ya didn't it when we were children, 'ya don't do it now.  
I finally in front of your fuckin' door and I'm beatin' it so hard 'dat you can't _not_ hear me. Why don't 'ya open at me?  
Where's your annoyed fuckin' face 'dat look at me like if I'm an exasperatin' eight years old? Where 'da fuck are you?  
But ya're behind 'dis door. I know it. 'Ya are in 'dis fuckin' flat, 'ya bastard.

_Now I'm breaking down your door  
To try and save your swollen face  
Though I don't like you anymore  
__You lying, trying waste of space_

I'm dumb, I'm confused and I'm frightened. I don't know what's happenin'. I know 'dat you're in 'dis fuckin' flat and I have to come in and 'ya don't open at me. So I have to enter. So I have to break down your door.  
I lost ma job, the job that I loved, the job that I begun to hate with all myself… I'm fired 'coz of 'ya, and 'ya don't fuckin' open at me!  
'Da door doesn't break down, but believe me, I will bring an axe, I will destroy 'da entire palace only for been sure 'dat 'ya are ok. But if 'ya're ok then why don't 'ya open at me?  
'Ya know, I don't like 'ya anymore. 'Ya're cold, apathetic. 'Ya're cruel. 'Ya're everythin' could be bad and annoyin'.  
But I love 'ya. 'Ya are my brother and once 'ya weren't like now. 'Ya are my brother and I don't wanna 'ya to die so please, _please_… when I break down 'dis door look at me annoyed. Scream at me. Hit me, maybe. Do whatever I hate, but please… be alive.  
'Da fuckin' door finally hit the ground and I'm in you're horrible flat. There's dust everywhere, is dark, everythin' is chaotic and I can feel you're apathetic desperation in the air.  
And I can see you.

_My, oh my  
A song to say goodbye  
A song to say goodbye  
__A song to say –_

I remember 'da first time 'dat 'ya get in jail. I remember 'da jokes 'dat I made – _How's with ladies?_ – and your answers – _Guards!_ – and how 'ya were less comfortable as days go by. Everyone worried, but we thought 'dat was normal. Fuck, 'ya were in jail… not exactly a trip in Costa Rica.  
Then 'ya returned home, I saw your arms and finally I understood why 'ya looked so ill.  
I didn't stand it. I remembered when I took drugs and 'ya brought my head under 'da cold water, nearly drowning me. I could read 'da disgust in your face, 'dat time. You were mad at me. And some years later here you are, a junky.  
But I couldn't hate you. Yes, 'ya were… are ma brother, but is not only 'dis. 'Ya were exactly like me some years before. And even if in a strange manner, 'ya helped me go out that shit, so how could I abandon you?  
But meanwhile 'da paint 'dat I made for school finished under 'da sight of some important people, then they called me for draw a comic and I was so happy 'dat I forgot 'ya and left 'ya alone at your downward spiral.  
Then 'da job began to destroy me. 'Da chief wanted some change when 'da comic were almost ended. 'Da chief didn't like 'da colours. I couldn't paint anythin' for a fucking artist's block. 'Da chief wanted less blood. And every fuckin' friend 'dat I had go away and leave me in my sad, creepy, depressive flat 'dat smelled – and still smells – of tempera and paper.  
And when I remembered 'dat there were a brother 'dat needed me was already too late.

_Before our innocence was lost  
You were always one of those  
Blessed with lucky sevens  
__And the voice that made me cry_

I looked 'ya, lyin' on 'da floor of a disgusting flat, using your money for heroin, and I saw what I could have been.  
'Ya had to be 'da one with a job, a future, moneys, a good flat and all 'dat shit. 'Ya had to be someone.  
I had to be 'da weak one, 'da dumb, 'da junky 'dat waste all his talent.  
I looked at 'ya and I couldn't stand it. 'Ya were… are what everyone expected me to be. 'Ya were… are what I could have been, and I can't save 'ya, and if I can't save 'ya nobody could save me and I don't stand it.  
'Ya die and I die too. So, please… please…

_You were mother nature's son  
Someone to whom I could relate  
Your needle and your damage done  
__Remains a sordid twist of fate_

'Ya are weak, 'ya fuckin' bastard. 'Ya look like if 'ya are sleeping, but 'ya are too pale and fuck, 'dis hurts me in a horrible manner.  
I'm holdin' 'ya. I'm screamin' at 'ya. Why don't 'ya open your eyes? I know that 'ya aren't died, I know it.  
…Fuck, I screamed it even when aunt Coocky told us 'dat our parents were died, remember? I screamed 'dat was a joke and 'ya looked me with a hurt look. Probably 'ya thought 'dat I was out of mind.  
Maybe I'm out of ma mind even now… but please, open your eyes. Please, tell me 'dat is only a joke… even if 'ya never kid, please… tell me it's a joke.

_Now I'm trying to wake you up  
To pull you from the liquid sky  
'Cause if I don't we'll both end up  
__With just your song to say goodbye_

I'm crying. I'm crying... 'ya make me cry, 'ya fuckin' bastard. Open your eyes, look at me like if I'm a disgusting little brat and tell me to go away and leave 'ya alone. Please… I will be a better brother, I promise it… I promise… don't leave me alone, I've got only you... please. Please. I will help you, I will stay with you… I'm fired, now I've 'da time, _I've 'da time_!  
'Ya are opening your eyes. 'Ya are alive! 'Ya bastard, 'ya are alive!  
Fuck, you're cold... look at me! Why don't 'ya look at me?

"Huey!" I can only say your name. I'm frightened like a little child! How can you do 'dis to me?!

'Ya are so weak... but 'ya are lookin' at me, finally. Fuck, 'ya seem so confused... do 'ya know who am I? Please, tell me somethin', please…

"Nothing... to smile for."

'Ya already said 'dis. I remember 'dat 'ya already said 'dis. What does it means? 'Ya don't fuckin' know what's going on, 'dat's 'da fact. 'Ya don't know it! But 'ya know who I am… 'Ya already said 'dis, and you said 'dis to ME, even if I don't remember when.  
Maybe… maybe 'ya… 'ya understand who I am.  
Please… I… don't close your eyes. Please… _please!_

_My, oh my  
A song to say goodbye  
A song to say goodbye  
__A song to say_

I'm lookin' at your coffin and 'ya know what? I can't cry. Probably 'coz I feel too numb. I cry for three fuckin' days. I barely sleep for three fuckin' days. When he saw me for 'da first time Caesar looked at me in a manner 'dat made me imagine how I appear.  
Jazmine is cryin' so much… well, is true 'dat she is 'da girl with 'da most high cry-quotient in 'da entire planet, but... Oh, why 'da fuckin' hell I have to say 'dis at 'ya? 'Ya didn't care for it alive, surely 'ya can't care... now.  
Caesar and Jazmine were your friends, Huey. Even if 'ya were cruel, even if 'ya were more cold and sarcastic as days go by, they were your friends. They care... cared about 'ya.  
'Ya know, I am 'da one that had to die. Your life was 'da one that everyone expected for me from 'da time... from... from when I was eight. So isn't 'ya 'da one in 'dat coffin: is me. And I can't cry 'coz I'm dead.  
And still you're not alive, 'coz 'da life 'dat I'm livin' is equally wasted. 'Ya would have done somethin' important if 'ya were really me, Huey. Instead I had ma chance and I wasted it.  
I wasted it for try to save you: is an error 'dat probably 'ya would never do. Or maybe yes. 'Ya once were different... 'da drugs changed 'ya and-

_Before our innocence was lost  
You were always one of those  
Blessed with lucky sevens  
__And the voice that made me cry_

No. 'Da drugs simply made 'ya 'da real yourself. 'Ya were always cruel, but 'ya hid it behind calm. I remember when Granddad went to Costa Rica and 'ya got in charge. I remember it and believe me, I wanted to hate 'ya forever. But then 'ya return calm and... Oh, c'mon. I was eight and 'ya flipped out only once in all your life- and yes, I acted really bad.  
'Ya were always so strange. How could I understand what was a signal of affection for 'ya? How can I say 'dat all 'da detestable things 'ya did were only somethin' for save me from... I don't know... Ma'self?  
I don't know, Huey. 'Ya became worse durin' 'da recent years and 'dat's all I know.  
Oh... I nearly forgot. Now I remember when 'ya said 'dat thing.  
I asked 'ya why 'ya never smile and 'ya answered with a 'there's nothing to smile for'. We were really lil', it's strange 'dat 'ya remember- remembered 'dat.  
Maybe 'ya loved me, after all.

_It's a song to say goodbye_

I'm talkin' to 'ya more than when you were alive... Ridiculous.  
'Ya know, I'm lookin' at your coffin, I'm thinkin' at 'da job 'dat I don't have anymore and at 'ya 'dat are dead and at me 'dat I'm dead too, and I see 'da world around me – A world 'dat wasn't mine anymore, anyway – decayin' and I think at how everyone 'dat I knew run away from me, and finally I understand what 'ya meant. I can't imagine how I can understand it only now... What's 'dis, your last present for me?  
Years and years and only now 'dat 'ya dead I understand 'dat 'ya are- were right.  
There's really nothin' to smile for. 

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Note_: Well, this is it. I think that Riley is only in a phase of his life. Fuck, I wanted to be a karateka when I was a child. So, yeah... probably he will do something different growing up. And for Huey... Nothing. I don't think he will end up wasting his life like I write now.  
But I love brotherly love, so whatever thing could make them worry for each other make me happy.  
I see to much 'Trainspotting'? Probably. But please, see Trainspotting too. Is fuckin' AWESOME.  
The song is "A Song to Say Goodbye" by Placebo. I know that probably everyone in this place listen to rap music, but what can I do? This song is beautiful and the lyric is fuckin' awesome._

_And what can I say more? Please, send some review. Really... I need to know if I have to stop or what. _

_I hope you like it. Really_


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